PUUUUTOOO

Tensions were high last night as the United States Men’s National Team faced Mexico in the CONCACAF Nations League final. Still, in a rare display of intuited understanding between the two longtime rivals, fans on both sides apparently agreed that the common tongue used to abuse each other would be Spanish.

After Gio Reyna scored in the 63rd minute, making it 2 to 0—the scoreline that haunts every El Tri fan being shown on every screen inside AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas—U.S. fans emphatically began chants of dos a cero. Meanwhile, with dimmed hopes of pulling off a comeback and undoubtedly multiple levels of inebriation beyond the BAC limit, Mexico fans began their retort. With each Matt Turner goal kick El Tri aficionados let it rip: puuuuutooo! After numerous warnings over the stadium speakers asking fans to refrain from using the chant, officials stopped the game twice and commentators on both English and Spanish telecasts communicated their obligatory default reaction of disappointment. Yet, the media and unacquainted masses have it all wrong regarding this chant. 

In Mexico, the word "puto" has so many meanings that it would require a Carlinesque tutorial to explain thoroughly. While considered colorful language in all its forms, the most popular uses of the word translate to fucker, asshole, slut, buddy, and coward. Yes, another use of the word is meant as a derogative term for a homosexual man, though the idea that Mexican fans are shouting the equivalent of "faggot” when attempting to taunt the opposing team's goalkeeper is just not accurate. The entire Spanish-speaking world knows this is a misreading, and fans of the Mexican national team have made the argument repeatedly. So why has the taunt become associated with a homophobic slur, then? Well, probably for the same reason Latinx was pushed down our throats for years. The perpetually offended decided that they didn’t like something and made a loud enough and consistent noise until they got their way. 

The former president of the Mexican Football Federation (FMF), Yon de Luisa, was quoted as saying, "It's not the intention with which you shout or with which you chant. It's how the other [people] receive it." De Luisa continued, "If anybody feels it's a discriminatory act, then it is not something that we should include in a conversation. That is no longer a debate. If it is discriminatory, we should avoid it."

Bigotry and discrimination are unacceptable, but taking offense due to deliberate misinterpretation is not a trump card that should be allowed to make false assumptions true. Nor should it stand to reason that no matter how wrong one is, he should never be challenged lest the challenge itself be conflated with hate speech. The answer can't always be that the offended party is automatically always right—end of discussion.

As seen and documented in every World Cup, Mexican national team fans are immensely passionate. They also have one of the most wide-ranging and quirkiest senses of humor you’ll encounter. They're both the life of the party and the most embarrassing drunks and sore losers around. If you want a reason to dislike El Tri fans, you have plenty, but this taunt isn’t one of them. Besides, the worst thing officials and sanctioning bodies could do is attempt to ban the chant and grant disgruntled fans so much power to influence the game, particularly when their team is losing.  

You don't have to be part of the crowd that screams out puto. But you're not a freedom fighter just because you have no idea what you're talking about.

The House of Nike

This Fall will see the world's greatest tournament captivate the inhabitants of Earth once again. The four intervening years between each World Cup are merely a countdown to these few glorious weeks of passion, joy, heartache, patriotism, and multicultural revelry. Nothing compares to it—not the Olympics, not even the Super Bowl.

Come November, all eyes will be transfixed on the Northeastern coast of the Arabian Peninsula. Current estimates expect nearly 1.5 million fans to follow their teams there, while 5 billion more are expected to tune in from across every continent.

From thirty-two countries they'll descend upon Qatar—squads from across the globe vying for a chance at ultimate glory. The Brazilians will be there donned in yellow with green trim and blue shorts, no doubt. The Argentinians, too, in their iconic light blue and white stripes. The Netherlands decked in orange. Croatia in their checkers. And while all team kits have yet to be officially released, everyone has a pretty good idea of what England, France, Mexico, Portugal, and Uruguay will look like once they hit the pitch. Each team will be armored and ready for battle in its classic colors and design. What about the United States Men's National Team (USMNT)?

After eight torturous years we're back on the world stage and ready to compete with a hungry young squad. We're feeling pretty damn good about our chances in the group, and the excitement keeps building as our first match against Wales draws nearer. So, what will we be wearing when we come face-to-face with the world's greatest teams? What have those geniuses at Nike designed for our grand return to the ball? Well, if the recent USMNT kit leaks are accurate, we'll be dressed up as fools. The home jersey is tragically dull and symbolic of nothing, while the away jersey is a blue tie-die surface of the moon monstrosity. So much for striking fear in the opponent's heart. How the hell do we expect to be taken seriously wearing that? Every sentient US fan, including the players themselves, hates these things. The leak has already inspired the circulation of Change.org petitions calling for a redesign. However, I'd find it justifiable if Nike were tried in criminal court for treason. 

For USMNT fans, punching our ticket to Qatar was a stressful event. After the heartache of failing to qualify for 2018, we didn't care how we got there—though we would've preferred not to have gotten dos-a-cero'ed by Costa Rica in our final qualifying match—we just needed to know we wouldn't be missing out again. And with the Cup coming to North America in 2026, we didn't want the only reason we're in the tournament to be because we're the ones hosting the party. We wanted to deserve to be there. It was do or die, and our boys pulled it off.

The 2022 World Cup was the perfect opportunity to establish a long-overdue jersey identity for US Soccer. Nike wouldn't even have had to look far for inspiration since the people have already spoken loudly and clearly about the obvious move in this department. The 2012 Waldos should be the defining template for our classic home jersey. Period. No other home jersey in recent history has commanded as much respect and screams "U-S-A" as this one, and no competition means more than the World Cup. 

This particular Cup also happens to come at a time when our national team players are kicking ass in some of the world's most prestigious leagues and clubs. Leeds United defeated Chelsea F.C. two days ago at Elland Road with a final score of 3-0. It was their first victory over The Blues in 22 years. They accomplished that feat with the help of three Americans—one scored the opening goal by pickpocketing the goalie, one was central in disrupting Chelsea's rhythm the whole match, and the other is the current team manager. For those not familiar with Premier League football and the promotion and relegation system, you should know that this is a huge deal.

In a post-match interview, Brendan Aaronson was asked what it meant to him personally and what it says regarding the talent in American football that US players are having success in England. "It just goes to show people around the world that Americans can play football too," he responded.

The USMNT means so much to so many. For me, there is no other team that means more. When those eleven players are on the pitch, nothing else matters. Politics, race, religion, gender, orientation, socio-economics—none of it. For those 90 minutes plus stoppage time, we leave our differences and disagreements behind and stand together as one. I’m talking genuine E Pluribus Unum shit here. This team transcends sport and deserves a kit worthy of what it represents.  

US soccer fans, let's send a message. Do not buy these jerseys. Wear an old one, make something yourself or buy a t-shirt if you must make a purchase, but do not buy these fucking jerseys. And when the next pandemic hits, Nike can assist by restocking grocery store shelves with a breathable recycled polyester toilet paper alternative.